Pregnancy Place

Morgen · Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 1 Location: New York

I just found out that I am pregnant. My last period was Nov. 10th, so I am very early on. I was pregnant this time last year, and had my first child, Aiden Kenneth, on Jan. 8th, 2004. I had a placental abruption and he died. I was terrified during that pregnancy. Now I am terrified for more than one reason. I am TERRIFIED of throwing up...I literally would rather die, and ALREADY I am SO sick. I feel like I am going to get sick constantly, and am a constant state of panic. I ate dinner tonight, and had to do everything possible to not get sick. I wasn't this bad with Aiden. Also, the stress of the loss of my son, and worrying that that may happen again, and I have been on meds for anxiety and depression since I was like 14, and I am 28, and now have to go off my meds. I can't take being sick like this. I am very happy about the baby, don't get me wrong, but I am having awful thoughts, like why me? Why am I so sick? Why why why!!! My biggest fear is throwing up, and all day long, I am so nauseous I can't stand it. I'm always crying. My family is not supportive, and my boyfriend and I are NOT doing well. He is really not helpful at all. What can I do to ensure that I will NOT throw up????? I can't. I just can't. I am freaking out, and I have so long to go! God, I don't know what to do. I am a royal mess, and not ready for this. I am SO embarrassed about my fear, and do realize how irrational it is, but all phobias are irrational, and I can't help the fact that I am so petrified of throwing up. What do I do? Can someone please help me? I can't even see the screen because I'm crying so hard, so this message is probably all screwed up, but I am scared to death for more than just one reason. Aiden's 1 year anniv. of his death is in less than a month. I have so many worries right now, and didn't even think I could get pregnant! Now I am, and feel like it is Aiden's way of telling his mommy to live life and be happy, but I am so miserable, depressed and sick, all I can think about is just ..... ugh...*embarrassed*..... dying. Please help me!
~Morgen Embarassed

klee4352 · Joined: 03 Dec 2004 Posts: 93 Location: Seattle

It seems like this is really tough! It IS Aiden's way of telling you to move on. I have heard that you throw up to get rid of the toxins in your body that might harm your baby. You have a little person inside of you right now that you really need to think about. Stress is only going to make it worse. When I feel stressed it is really helpful to write letters. I bet writting on this web site and crying helped a bit. I can't even imagine losing a child, but I feel everything happens for a reason. It will make you stronger as a person and give you the will to make your baby stronger and help him/her through a loss. Please think about what is in your future and if you need to even talk to Aiden. I am not very religous, but sometimes just talking outloud gets a lot off my chest. Good luck and if you ever need to talk I am always around.

Kristin

Hannah's Mommy · Joined: 06 Dec 2004 Posts: 535 Location: Trono

Honey there is a perscription you can get for morning sickness. I know pills and pregnant don't mix. But I had to be put on them for almost half of my pregnancy because I literally couldnt eat or drink at all I was so sick. Before I got pregnant I was the same way I was terrified of throwing up but boy did I get over that fast! Throwing up became like breathing to me; I did it about 5-10 times a day! Untill I got put on the meds, then it was like heaven! I could eat and drink and smell things without getting sick! Whats worse? being put on pills when you are pregnant or not being able to feed yourself and your baby ( I mean it I couldnt eat for weeks! I was so weak and worried about my baby!) Anyway I live in Canada and I have no idea if perscription names and such are different but the pills I got were called Diclectin (sp?) so ask your doc about it. Also hun my bf is a JERK as well Rolling Eyes

I'm only 18 if I can do it than you can do it! Be strong for your baby! Good Luck! I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

tishie · Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 73

Hi Morgen,

I am also just recently pregnant, my last period was on November 10, 2004 and I am also 28.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know you will be strong and things will get better.
Maybe you should go to the doctor and ask him for a prescription, they have some sort of pill to take for morning sickness, also try to have a lot of crackers around for you to snack on even if you are not feeling well.

I was also really sick with my other pregnancies, (I have had three, now number four), but so far this one I have been good.

I hope you feel better, keep in touch.

Rolling Eyes

bubblebee · Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 30 Location: Roseville, CA

I have just read over your message and it brang me to tears.

I would like to speak with you privatly, Im sending over an AIM.